Quiz: Are you friends with the person you love?
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Most satisfied couples will tell you that friendship is the most important ingredient in their relationship. Think for a moment of a person that you would call a good friend – someone other than your partner – and see how many of the following statements apply to that relationship. Put a check mark beside the statement if it applies.
- We support each other in the tough times.
- We understand each other.
- We enjoy one anothers’ company.
- We treat each other with respect.
- We enjoy a lot of the same things.
- We trust each other.
- We accept our differences.
- We keep our relationship on a positive note.
- We each put effort into our friendship.
- We can depend on each other.
- We settle our differences without threatening the relationship.
Go back over the checklist again, only this time think about your relationship with your intimate partner--and look at how many of the above statements apply. Looking at your love relationship, answer the following questions:
- My partner would say I am as nice to him/her as I am to my best friend.
- My partner feels very supported by me.
- My partner sees me as a team player.
- My partner will attest that my attitude is more positive than negative.
- My partner would say I am a fair fighter.
- My partner would say I am fun to be with.
- My partner loves my sense of humor.
- My partner would say that I am responsive to his/her needs.
- I do my part in preventing harmful interactions between us.
- I come up with fun ideas for us.
- I initiate interesting conversations.
- I am a good sport.
- I express optimism about our relationship.
- I am accepting of imperfections of my partner and myself.
- I have a realistic vision of relationships.
- I am a pleasant person to be around and/or to live with.
This quiz was taken from Pat Love’s excellent book The Truth About Love (Fireside). What do your answers to the above questions tell you?
Neil Rosenthal is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Denver and Boulder, Colorado, specializing in how people strengthen their intimate
relationships. He can be reached at (303) 758-8777, or e-mail him from his website, heartrelationships.com
View Neil's Full Bio
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