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When it comes to interacting with young children during divorce, communication is everything. First, it is important to talk in a direct and honest manner. For example, emphasize that divorce is final and reconciliation is not possible. This is so important because young children have a tendency to think that if they wish hard enough, mommy and daddy will get back together.
Next, make sure you repeatedly reassure your children that the divorce is not their fault. As such, emphasize that the divorce has nothing to do with anything they did or said, but rather that mommy and daddy cannot continue to live together. Let your children know that although their parents are separating, they will always have a mommy and a daddy. Further, the fact that mommy and daddy no longer love each other does not mean either of them will ever stop loving their children.
Children also need to be reassured that structure and stability will continue. Tell your children that one of their parents will always be there when they wake up in the morning make their meals, pick them up from school, etcetera. Let your children know that even though mommy and daddy will now live separately, both residences will be comfortable and loving environments filled with toys and other belongings that are familiar.
Lastly, encourage your children to talk about their feelings. Let your children know that you understand if they are sad or angry and that it’s okay to cry. Try to set aside time for your children to talk with you one on one, ask questions, express their concerns and vent, if need be.
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