The High Cost of Parental Conflict

A while ago, the family court judges went to a seminar where several adult “children of divorce” gave speeches.

One said the two things she dreaded most were her high school and college graduation days, because she knew that her parents would both be there and cause a scene. Another spoke of finding out the college fund she thought she had was spent for their parents battling over her. The judge said it broke his heart to hear these stories.

Children caught in the middle of parental conflict want one thing: for their parents to get along.

So, keeping that in mind, here are some suggestions:

  1. Nobody discusses the adult issues unless the children are at least one mile away. That means you, your mom, and anyone else.
  2. No airing of your gripes about your spouse on any social media platforms like Facebook or Twitter.
  3. When you exchange the children, be polite or be quiet and fake it if you have to. It’s okay to dislike your ex, just don’t bring the kids in it. Think what you wish, just don’t say it. (Surely some of you don’t like a co-worker, but because you like your job, you bite your tongue.)
  4. Consider the exchanges to be like going to court: be on time, or bad things happen.
  5. Consider that even if you think your ex is totally worthless at best, your kids still want to be with them. Sometimes, it’s good for them to see the “bad example factor.”
  6. Consider that judges are smart people, and will know if you’re putting the kids in the middle.
  7. Remember that, as much as you may despise your ex, you’re doing this for the kids and that they’re worth the effort.
  8. Finally, remember that you’re only as happy as your unhappiest kid.

The divorce process can be hard on everyone involved, so you should have quality legal representation by your side to put yourself in the best situation. At The Harris Law Firm, our Colorado family law attorneys will assist you in putting together a plan of action that will put your family in the best situation moving forwards. Give us a call at (303) 622-5502 to speak with one of our family law lawyers today, or tell us all about your case in our ‘Contact Us’ form.

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Categories: Parenting