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Family Problems Can Lead to Families in Transition, Which Can Lead to Happiness Again

By Joanne Baum, PhD. LCSW, CAC III

When a family has exhausted all avenues it can think of including; trying harder, communication skills coaching, counseling, therapy, books, friends advice, ignoring the problem(s), coping with the problem(s), hoping the problem(s) will just go away, living with the problem(s), and nothing is helping, you often make the difficult and painful decision that you need to be a family in transition, moving from one house full of stress and tension to hopefully being a family living in two loving, safe homes. And to get there you’re going to be going through a divorce.

But how’d you get here? Where are you going? How are your kids going to do?  When will the uncertainty end?  When will the tension end?  Will I be happy?  Will the kids adjust well? Will they be happy again?  Why do they have to live in two homes and move back and forth?  How will I manage – emotionally, financially and socially…?  These are all common questions and fears people have as they’re going through a divorce.  The biggest thing to remember is nobody thought they’d be here when they stood up in front of a number of people and said, “I do” and heard their partner say “I do.” 

You and everybody in your family will be going through a true mourning process.  There are stages you can identify as you go through them and then, sometimes, you’ll be ricocheting back and forth between the stages of anger, bargaining, hope, despair, and acceptance.  Most people are NOT on their best behavior as they move through their grief process. Having an understanding, compassionate, and knowledgeable therapist, counselor, or coach can help tremendously.