Finding Support Systems

With divorce come numerous changes: from being married to being single, from having a long-term, committed relationship to being unattached, and from parenting together under one roof to parenting apart (hopefully as co-parents, i.e. cooperative parents). Likewise, there may be changes in residence and neighborhood, personal habits and being totally responsible for all the chores, occupation and income, and in your social circles.

So what divorce support resources can you use to “hold yourself together”?

This is a crucial time to have a host of support systems that include, but are not limited to: family, friends, church / synagogue, psychotherapist for individual work, and/or group therapy. While family and friend(s) are necessary and wonderful, just be careful not to unload too much on them. Use a psychotherapist and/or minister/rabbi for that purpose. The professional person is far better equipped to be non – judgmental and to give you advice that is aimed at promoting growth. Friends oftentimes take sides and get “burned out” from hearing too much or having to listen too often.

Above all, make sure that you have some alone time. Ask a friend to care for the children if the other parent is not able or around. Several hours every week is an ideal to strive for. At this time, do something for yourself. This can be a wonderful time to learn more about who you really are. Use your time well and learn to enjoy it. The children will positively benefit from this self-care.