Open Accessibility Menu
Committed To Developing The Best Solution For Your Family

Establishing Appropriate Boundaries

Sometimes a marriage cannot be saved but a great deal can be done to ensure the healthy functioning of the still-existing family.

One area that deserves notice is the establishment of appropriate boundaries in divorced and divorcing families. It is important to avoid boundaries that are either too rigid or too porous.

Rigid boundaries express the desire to be completely separate from the former spouse. They are characterized by refusal to share information such as doctors' and teachers' names, sports schedules and the like, insisting that the other parent acquire the information independently.

Other examples might be refusals to share children's clothing or to help out occasionally with a needed child service on the other parent's custodial time. This type of structure impedes progress toward two fully functioning households. Children in such situations may feel less safe and less able to share concerns because there is no bridge of connection between their two households. Their adjustment to two-family living may be adversely affected.

Porous boundaries reflect a desire that no one feel the separation too strongly; that in many important ways life is "just like it was before".

To this end, ex spouses may decide to continue joint holidays or provide after school care for one another. They may do household or financial chores for each other as they did before. The dangers here are of stagnation and incomplete mourning. The former partners do not move on in life to new skills and relationships; they do not fully accept the fact that they are divorced. When the loss is not fully acknowledged and mourned the entire family fails to integrate it, leaving impaired capacity to grow and move on.

Good boundaries in divorced and divorcing families allow cooperation and flexibility while providing enough separation for each parent to develop a complete and unique home for their children.

See What Our Clients Have To Say

  • I've been very impressed with Harris Family Law through this whole process. - Pat
  • Your kids will thank you. - Michael
  • My lawyer saved me from myself. - Jeff
  • I’m starting my new life now. - Scott
  • With help from some great support resources, we are stable, happy, and moving forward to a great new life. - Amy
  • Once my legal team stepped in, things rapidly began to change. - Anonymous
  • After hiring my lawyer, I am certain that I made the right choice. - Joel
  • Your fast responses to all of our questions and your concern for our situation really made us feel at ease. - Chris
  • I've been very impressed with Harris Family Law through this whole process. - Pat
  • You have been nothing less than fantastic thank you so much and look forward to never having to work with you in the future - Nate

We Care about our Clients, our Team and our Community

  • Our Clients You come to us for guidance, support and assistance at a trying time. We take this responsibility very seriously. You deserve a high level of service and excellent legal representation. WE CARE about your challenges, solutions and process for resolution.
  • Our Team We celebrate the many individual strengths that make up The Harris Law Firm team. We encourage growth while also promoting a collaborative working environment. WE CARE about our team and strive to ensure an environment of collegiality, appreciation and consistent professional development.
  • Our Community The Harris Law Firm supports the legal, local and international community. Through deliberate strategic giving efforts, we work together to bring strength, happiness and empowerment to Colorado and beyond. WE CARE about our role in the world around us.

Contact Our Colorado
Family Law Firm

If you are in need of a compassionate, skilled, and experienced Colorado family law attorney, The Harris Law Firm can help. If you have a legal question about a domestic relations issue, including divorce and the allocation of parental rights, please complete our contact form below. A member of our legal team will be in touch with you soon to arrange a private consultation with one of our experienced attorneys. Together we can find a resolution.
  • Please enter your first name.
  • Please enter your last name.
  • This isn't a valid email address.
    Please enter your email address.
  • This isn't a valid phone number.
    Please enter your phone number.
    You entered an invalid number.
  • Please enter a message.
  • Please make a selection.